1. When someone doesn’t know how to use the dryer: They’ll do anything they can to avoid using it. This solution is at least somewhat ingenious. Normally, people would just hang them on a line or throw them over the back of a chair to air dry. The next step up from that would be violently drying them off with a towel.
2. Quantum giraffe has no time for foolishness: He’s trying to figure out the secrets of the universe He’s clearly already got portals under control. Now he’s working on folds in space time. He doesn’t want to be bothered unless you’re bring him some leaves. Are you bringing him leaves? Then let him work!
3. Why use a tap when you can order water from Amazon?: With Amazon Prime, your box of water will be delivered in as little as two days. This water is not only hydrating, but can also be used for cleaning, gardening, and cooking. This product cannot be returned for refund as the company that makes it has been liquidated.
4. Two golfers discussing the situation: “You can have a drop, but you have to take a penalty stroke.” “What? No way. The ball is on an alligator! That’s definitely grounds for a free drop.” “I don’t think so pal.” “Fine, then I’ll play through. Hand me my gator wedge.”
5. How to properly run a campaign on awareness: Make people aware of the issue. Is this dog a good boy? The answer is yes, yes he is. He is a very good boy. Does he want a treat? Yes, he does. Can he sit? Can he roll over? Once again, he is a good boy. He’s the best boy. Who is the best boy? This dog.
6. When you seriously just can’t: This shirt is the right garment for you. You don’t have to listen to a corporation telling you to ultimately perform something, no one has to anymore! Just buy this shirt and let those people know that you are your own person. It’s perfect for sitting on the couch and watching Netflix.
7. When you have to get that last little bit out of the tube: If only we could all learn to treat all of our food, water and other resources like a tube of toothpaste. Even once we are certain it’s empty, we’ll do literally anything to get those last little bits out. That’s why you never hear about a toothpaste shortage.
8. You make think this is just a toy: But you would be wrong. This is actually a very necessary piece of equipment that will be used in the construction of the model that the real building is going to be based on. It requires transportation, which needs to be done correctly, so keep your cute remarks to yourself.
9. Do you love beer and also being obnoxious?: Do your “friends” dread your company at every party? Have you remained oblivious to their dislike of you? Then this product may be right for you! Enjoy a drink and annoy the people around you until they finally come around and realize how great you are.
10. What if you brought this guy pork chops?: Could he chop chops? Or does even asking that question totally defeat the purpose? If he’s really that good at chopping, can he chop the already chopped? Does he have the chopping chops? Or will he have to retire from chopping altogether? These are important questions, people!